The only thing — literally the only thing — missing from this Buzzfeed video of Jeff Goldblum reading the thirstiest tweets about Jeff Goldblum is my own thirsty tweets about Jeff Goldblum. Other than that, my fictional husband gives the sexiest performance of his lifetime in what is otherwise an immaculate video featuring some of the most hot and bothered and wildly inappropriate comments about his handsome existence.


While I’m totally, legitimately floored that not a single one of my tweets about Jeff Goldblum — a total Babeasaurus Rex and my future husband — were included in this video, I’m also not sure how I can be expected to get literally anything accomplished today with this thing just out there in the world.

Yes, loving Jeff Goldblum has become a bit of a Bill Murray-level meme, but where other thirsty fans treat him like the human equivalent of pizza (my other true love, which has also been co-opted by hip memesters), my love is pure and real and as eternal as his perfect ageless face and foxy silver hair.

In any case, have fun trying to be productive on the internet today now that this insanely hot piece of video action exists. I’m taking the rest of the day off.

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