What to Tell Your Child When Boston Celtics Fans Chant “Bull—-!”

When I take my five-year-old daughter to her second Celtics game this season, I shall do so carrying a list.

You see, the last time we went to a Celtics game, the crowd – as is often the case – became rather vocal when it came to the officiating.

“What are they saying, Daddy?”

I was stumped. But now, I am prepared. For I have compiled a list of more appropriate things you can tell your child a gathering of Bostonians is chanting.

So, here are Eight Great Things That Kinda Sound Like Bull----!

“Ocean!”
As in, “Wow, they can’t throw the ball into the ocean!”

“Ball pit!”
As in, “If we win this game, everyone is going to Chuck E. Cheese to listen to some amazing robot bands and play in the ball pit!”

“Push it!”
As in, “Remember that Salt-N-Pepa song? They also had a great run in the 90s. Feels like every day on the bus, it was Ace of Bass or Salt-N-Peppa. Think they’ll ever team up and be Salt-N-Bass??”

“Horshack!”
As in, “Remember Arnold Horshack from “Welcome Back Kotter?” Quality program. I heard Jay Leno was the warmup comic!

“Woodchuck!”
As in, “Maybe if we work with the woodchucks, we can defeat those darn, dirty squirrels.”

“Book It!”
As in, “Remember Book It? That program where if I read, like, three books, Dad would take us to Pizza Hut in Portsmouth and I’d get my own personal pan pizza while everyone else shared from the same, communal pizza like losers? Mom wouldn’t let me read Stephen King, so I had to settle for that other guy, Richard Bachman.”

“Wool knit!”
As in, “The very loud Celtics Christmas sweater I wear until April is wool knit!”

“Fresh fish!”
As in, “In the mood? Here are 21 of the best seafood restaurants on the seacoast.”

That's all I got for ya. Perhaps the crowd would've been more polite had the C's gone through with their plan 30 years ago to move to New Hampshire.