I have this thing about women's costumes always trying to look sexy.  Halloween is about scary transformations but clever costumes are also acceptable.  But when it comes to the unnecessary sexiness of certain costumes, enough is enough.  I'm putting my foot down.

Sexy belongs in SOME costumes.  NOT ALL OF THEM.  Here's what I'm talking about...

Sexy Shark

What?  Get out of here! First of all you have the potential for a decent concept here then, it's ruined once you see how 'cute' it is.  Too much sex appeal, no fear factor.  There is some hope, however, if you use your imagination and perhaps make yourself all bloody like you have been consumed by the shark and are trapped in it's body awaiting the digestion process.  As is, UNACCEPTABLE.  Get out of here!

Leg Avenue via Amazon


Sexy Pineapple

There is NOTHING sexy about a pineapple- it's pokey, the stem thing is awkward looking, it's jaundiced.  When there belies no sexy initially, the sexy is trying TOO hard!  I understand pineapples are a thing this year, for whatever reason, but, ladies, we can do better than this.  COME ON!


Sexy Fawn

Fawns are the children of the deer world- there should be no sex appeal to a fawn.  But, let's look at the functionality here. Let's face it, your legs will be cold, you'll be uncomfortable and that hood with those antlers aren't going to last on the top of your head after drink #2, then nobody will know what you're trying to pull off.  Plus, you will not be able to bend over in that skirt without showing some lady bits.  Just stop it!


Sexy Monkey

See above...

Oh... and then there's the back.  Please tell me you'll say no to this because if there's any year to avoid THIS costume with THAT banana in THAT spot, it's this year.

There you go.  Please take pride in the spirit of Halloween and use sex appeal with discretion- for the LOVE OF HALLOWEEN be scary or clever.  Please.  Now, get out.