Oh, to be an Academy Award Nominee.  Everybody's swooning over your amazing outfit, you get to rub elbows with the rich, beautiful people and, DAYM!- check out all this stuff in the swag bag, yo!

Forbes.com shared all the glitz, glamour, technology and self-defense items (yes, you read that right) what was in this year's $100,000 swag bags.

We're talking trips to far away lands, sweet, amazeballs technology, expensive make-up that I wouldn't ever buy but will definitely try for free, chocolates and luxury services (NOTE- When writing this story I was spellchecked for the word luxury.... I never write it so, apparently, I'm in need of this in my life!).

This swag bag is assembled by a company called Distinctive Assets who gathers items from vendors to promote lavish products to those that could probably afford to buy them.  Unfortunately, not everybody gets to enjoy the delights.  These bags are only sent to acting and directing nominees.  Sorry, all you Best Boy nominees :(

Here's a list of our favorites, or rather, the ones we wish we got.  And, if you are with the Distinctive Assets people... I don't even need the bag.  I'm from Maine- I'll use the Hannaford bag in my car.  Or, better yet, just throw it all in the trunk.  No worries!  I got this (as I shove diamond earrings and a case of makeup up my shirt).

  • Credit: Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

    Trip for Two to Tanzania for 12 Days

    Ticket Price: $40,000
  • Credit: Photo by William Thomas Cain/Getty Images

    23-and-Me DNA Kit

    Ticket Price: $199
  • 3

    Pepper Spray from Pepperface

    Ticket Price: $27 - $125
  • 4

    Blue Toothspeaker... that levitates

    Ticket Price: $195
  • Credit: Photo by Three Lions/Getty Images

    My Magic Mud Activated Charcoal Whitening Toothpaste

    Ticket Price: $10
  • 6

    Color Changing Lipstick from Blush and Whimsy

    Ticket Price: $22
  • 7

    Wetsleeve Hydration System

    Ticket Price: $40