To start, let me establish 4 things right off the bat:

1.) I love my kids more than life itself, even when they do annoying things.

2.) I never get enough sleep. I just don't. If I'm lucky, it's 4 to 5 hours a night, but that's never in a row. My sleep is always interrupted by one of the kids...and that's something that I've just gotten used to.

3.) I have a weird thing about being able to see the time. I think it comes from a fear that I'll be late...even though I am always late...but I think I'll be even later because I get so easily sidetracked, if I can't keep an eye on the time. This means there's a clock in ever room of my house...sometimes 2.

4.) I usually go to bed around midnight and have to get up for work no later than 5AM.

Ok, now that we've established those things...

Like most 5 year-olds, my youngest child is quite curious. If there is a knob to turn, a lock to unlock, a cupboard to open or a button to push, B. is on it with a purpose. And for the most part, since this is not my first rodeo, and there were 3 that came before her, I have learned not to sweat it, but simply do as much scouting or damage control to keep this curiosity from becoming catastrophic.

Most of the time, the things she gets into are pretty obvious, as she may have the inquisitive nature to be inspired, but still lacks the ability to cover her tracks and clean up her messes. (This could be part of the abovementioned "I don't get enough sleep" situation, as I do spend a lot of time tidying in her wake.)

But when there is no perceivable mess, it's harder to tell what she's been up to...until it becomes very 2:34 in the morning when all of the alarm clocks in the house are going off at the exact same time.

You see, she apparently took it upon herself, when I was busy making lunch the other day, to "set the time" on each clock. There are 9 alarm clocks in this house. I don't set any of them because I use the alarm clock on my phone. I simply use them to tell time.

But being 5, and not privy to the inner workings of my mind, she thought she was helping. She likes patterns (Thanks Team Umizoomi) and so she set half of the alarms to 2:34AM and the other half to 3:45AM.

Needless to say, I had not been in a deep sleep for long, when all of the sudden the first set of alarms went off. Not ever having used the alarm part of those clocks, the sounds were unfamiliar to me. And since I had been asleep, I was pretty confused as to where the sounds could be coming from! And why were there so many?

Thoughts raced through my brain...

"Am I under some kind of strange attack? Is this like in The Truman Show? Am I on some sort of big screen somewhere with a bunch of folks in a control room laughing at me? Had I gone to bed cooking something and forgotten to turn oven off?" (Don't judge the weird order and way in which this wacky brain tries to make sense of things. I knew the Truman Show scenario was unlikely...or was it?)

After a few minutes, my brain had caught up to my heartrate, and both were working in overdrive, running from room to room, shutting off the clocks.

I was unnerved and a bit spooked out, because I didn't know who was behind the event. I didn't learn till later that morning, when they kids were all up, that B was the culprit (something she proudly admitted while covered in Maple Syrup at the breakfast table.)

After surveying the house, and determining there was no threat, and turning off the alarms that had been blaring, I went back to bed. Because I was tired, I failed to think of checking the other alarm clocks in the house. So those went off an hour and eleven minutes later causing the same panicked reaction. Needless to say, I didn't really get back to sleep the second time, because I thought someone was messing with me. Little did I know it was one of my own kids!

After she admitted her folly, we talked and I thought I got through to her.

"Mom needs her sleep, sweet girl. And those alarms are meant to wake people. So when you set them, that's what they do."

Her big beautiful eyes seemed to understand exactly what I was saying.

"Oh sorry, Mommy. I didn't know."

"That's okay. Let's just not play with the buttons next time, alright?"


But her love of numerical patterns and button pushing was too strong of a draw and totally trumped whatever sense of right and wrong she had about the notion of stealing my sleep.

So this happened twice more.

It's no surprise to the few folks I've come across this weekend, that I may be intensely sleep deprived, as each of the people has mentioned "You look tired. Rough night?"

How I wish I could attribute the bags under my eyes to something much more fun than being bested by my little beauty, but alas...

Does anyone know how to permanently disarm an alarm clock alarm. Asking for a friend.



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