Five True Statements About Living in Maine

This is a fun phrase to include when giving Flatlanders directions. You're welcome.

But seriously! They're scary from every. Damn. Angle! From behind, all you're thinking is which one of those giant logs is going to somehow come loose and impale you. From the side, you worry about the whole load rolling on top of your tiny vehicle. Nothing will get your heart pumping like seeing one head-on flying around a tight corner. Nuff said!

Bug dope is basically cologne for Mainers in summertime.

During this beautiful time of the year the air is filled with the sound of dragging mufflers and the thumping of flat tires against pavement. You think, "Hmmm, is that a sweet mud puddle I can splash through?" Nope. It's actually a crater that would make the moon blush.

They only have these things in those fancy foreign cars, right? Fun Fact: Massachusetts vehicles don't have these, or so we're told.