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Tina Fey Tells Us to Shut Up + Secretly Gives Turkey Tips on Twitter [VIDEO]

We worship at the altar of all things Tina Fey — every day we light a snark-scented candle in the hope that she will join our Twitter games and fill our streams with her genius. But now our hopes have been dashed. She’s not on Twitter and has no intention of joining.

In fact, she pretty much wants us all to keep our boring 140-character thoughts to ourselves. Oh, but she may or may not be giving turkey tips disguised as Martha Stewart.

In the past we have heard that Fey hasn’t joined Twitter for a multitude of reasons including that she can’t handle one more writing gig and if she gets paid for her jokes, why should she share them for free? But now the true story comes out.

Tina (rightfully) thinks most people are boring and there are really only two Twitter accounts worth following – both SNL writers, coincidentally – those being @bazecraze and @perlapell.

Fey further proposes that everyone who wants to tweet must get a license to do so. She even volunteered to be in charge of the licensing as a way of staying busy after ‘30 Rock’ is over — at which point, she’d revoke all of our tweeting privileges because we are “f—ing boring.”

She also says she’s not tweeting under a fake name, but then takes that back and admits – Lance Armstrong style – that she’s actually been tweeting turkey preparation tips from @MSTurkeyTips and if we’ve been following the account, joke’s on us.

Go ahead, Tina, tell us our Twitter is lame. We don’t care. We love you anyway. We’re just happy you’re talking to us.

Also, our turkeys turned out great, so who’s the joke on now?

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