Today is the day Lindsay Lohan goes to trial because she doesn't know how plea deals work and thinks it's okay to lie to the cops even if you're currently on probation.

Assuming she makes it to court for her 8:30 a.m. PST trial (seeing as she skipped out on two flights to Los Angeles to see a band and allegedly wait for mom Dina Lohan), we imagine her day -- and the trial that follows -- will go a little something like this.

 

Lindsay will most likely begin her day with some "coffee" to get her energized.

 

Then she'll realize that stuff shows up on a Breathalyzer.

 

When she arrives in the courtroom, she will do her best to prove that
she is an innocent, law-abiding lady who would never lie or steal.

 

And not scream about all the things she's really feeling inside.

 

Or sass the judge when he says something she doesn't like.

 

Of course, if he isn't snowed by her ruse, she can always plead insanity.

 

Despite all her hard work however, she will most likely be dragged off to the clink.

 

Just kidding! That sort of thing doesn't happen to celebrities. After earning her freedom, there will be much rejoicing with whichever lawyer she'll inevitably forget to pay.

 

Leaving LiLo able to return to her very lucrative and well-respected career.