Kesha Stalked Iggy Pop and Bedded the Flaming Lips. As You Do.
When we last saw princess of glitter -- and not much else -- Kesha, she was off copulating with ghosts. And since she has an album coming out in a few weeks, we are once again bombarded with her useless musings.
This time, the vapid popster sat down with The Sun, and the result was about as ridiculous as you’d expect.
The 25-year-old fiend who brought us ‘Tik Tok’ continues to refer to her vacation in South Africa as a “spiritual journey.” Her work had become stressful so she stayed on a boat, and then she spent some time with animals. Because everyone knows that if you want to relax, you should run around the deserts of South Africa trying not to get mauled by a lion.
Fortunately for us, Kesha returned to modern society and decided we needed more from her than just computer-generated radio filler. She’s been part of our pop culture fabric for so long that it was time for, yes, a memoir.
Of course, having not had that long a life nor a terribly strong grasp on how to write a book, her memoir is different. As she told The Sun, “It’s a memoir but it’s like a photo book ... There’s pictures on almost every page."
What she's saying is her fans don’t have to worry about actually reading. Which, when you think about it, is kind of a brilliantly-targeted marketing approach.
In all fairness, we do credit her for a love of animals. In fact, she feels so strongly about not wearing fur that she's designing her own line of faux fur fashions. So props to her for that.
We also credit her for having decent taste in music -- we just wish it would translate in her own work. And maybe it will, because her new album ‘Warrior,’ due out Dec. 4, will feature a collaboration with Iggy Pop. Whom she apparently badgered until he agreed to join her in the studio. Shirtless, of course.
In her own words, “I made it my mission to get him on a song with me before I die, and in my relentless stalking, I have succeeded.”
Not only did Miss Glitter stalk Mr. Pop until he relented and sang with her, she also got the Flaming Lips in bed. No, that's not a metaphor.
Apparently she has a house in the woods and lures famous musicians there, where she gives them tattoos and makes them play on a glittery piano (we're not making this up). She also owns “the world’s biggest bed” and doesn’t mind sharing it. In fact, at her last shindig, “we fitted in the Flaming Lips, plus a couple of my friends plus my cat and myself comfortably.”
Add that to your nightmare bank.
If you’re wondering what to get her for Christmas, she’s been “trying to make a guitar that shoots out electricity.” Which sounds totally safe.
Finally, the next time you hear a Kesha song and wish she'd just go away already, remember this: If she weren’t a pop star, she'd be “a homeless person living on a beach, naked.”
And that's a terrible thing to wish on an innocent beach.