Jimmy Kimmel, in conjunction with Kid Rock for some reason, plans to free Justin Bieber's monkey from its quarantine in Germany ... by threatening to kill David Hasselhoff.

It's so crazy that it just might work.

Kimmel issued the ultimatum last night (April 8), telling Germany that it has until this Thursday at midnight to release Mally the Monkey or he will personally kill the Hoff, whom Germans inexplicably love.

Just in case anyone thought he was bluffing, Jimmy proceeded to blow up a German chocolate cake. (DUDE THAT'S JUST MEAN. Why should innocent chocolate suffer?) And to further drive the point home, Kid Rock filmed a PSA for the Biebs' monkey, requesting his safe return or Operation Off the Hoff will commence.

So go tweet your politicians and ask them to get involved. There's a special hashtag and everything. And remember: For every monkey Jimmy Kimmel frees, an underprivileged child gets one of his very own.