Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are delusional enough to think they're still relevant -- and we're suckers enough to enable them -- but they took it to a whole new level.

When asked who they'd want to play them in the movie version of their lives that will never happen, the couple, collectively known as Speidi, had another one named set of former flames in mind: Haylor.

“I really like Harry Styles -- I think he would be perfect as the young Spencer," Pratt told OK Magazine (via Yahoo).

Montag, never one to disagree with her douchetastic hubby, concurred. “And Taylor Swift could play me, that would be perfect."

Well, they probably have two things in common.

Unfortunately for Speidi, Haylor likely will never ever get back together. “I really hope they work things out," Montag urged. "I think they could be like Speidi.”

Except with talent. And jobs. And class.

The nauseating couple then talked at length about their own relationship, under the false impression that anyone cares anymore or did to begin with.

“Spencer and I are very similar but we are very different. We are compatible," Montag said. “At the core, we have the same values, morals and priorities. Little details are different but that’s what makes it fun.”

Pratt added, “Heidi has no dark side. She brings out any light that I have." (So, not much?)

“I never wanted to be loving or have a girlfriend or get married," Pratt admitted. "Before I met Heidi I was very anti-marriage. I had been around an awful lot of women who had an awful lot of motives. I was shocked when I found someone as good and pure-hearted as Heidi.”

Yes, pure hearted. Not pure nosed, pure chested, pure chinned ...