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Chris Brown Doesn’t Want to Marry Rihanna, and Lena Dunham Is Probably Psyched About It

Rihanna Chris Brown Lena Dunham
Scott Gries / Andrew H. Walker, Getty Images

In news that will give a glimmer of hope to humanity, Chris Brown reportedly isn’t even close to thinking of marrying Rihanna. And that should make Lena Dunham really happy, because she’s smart enough to know a bad idea when she sees one.

A source told the ever-reliable (they’re not reliable) Hollywood Life that Brown is hesitant to commit because he’s also still boning that beacon of self-respect Karrueche Tran on the side.

“Chris feels like he’s got everything in order with both Rihanna and Karrueche, and what they have works for them,” the source said. “Besides, come on now, really. Marriage? At 23? At this point in his career and Rihanna’s career? It’s so far out of the realm of reality so much so that I can’t even talk about it anymore.”

But they will, because bills need to be paid.

“As far as settling down, he’s already settled,” the source continued. “He’s got everything he wants; Rihanna loves [him], Karrueche loves him and he has a relationship with both of them.”

The source added, “He and Karrueche got a business relationship, and they’re cool together and have fun and s—, then Rihanna is his main girl and they have a connection that’s out of this world. Can’t be broken, you know?”

Not even by logic, good judgment or healthy self-esteem. Can they just have a wig-snatching ‘Sister Wives’ reality show already?

Speaking of shows, ‘Girls’ star Dunham injected her opinion on Rihanna and Brown’s relationship for reasons unbeknownst to us, but her sentiments are pretty universal.

In an interview on Alec Baldwin’s podcast, Dunham said what we’re all thinking. In fairness, she didn’t just launch into it out of nowhere — she was speaking about being a role model, something for which Rihanna has expressed disdain numerous times. Because, like Quentin Tarantino, she’s no one’s monkey.

“[Being a role model] is amazing. It’s an amazing thing and it’s like, it’s a platform that you have to take seriously,” Dunham said. “I used to be really into Rihanna, that pop star, and … I don’t want to ever throw stones from my glass house, but I follow her on Instagram and I just think about how many little girls beyond what I could even comprehend are obsessed with Rihanna.”

“Like you know, she left Barbados, she’s had this amazing career, she’s won a Grammy. She’s talented,” Dunham added. “And then she gets back together with Chris Brown and posts a million pictures of them smoking marijuana together on a bed. And it cracks my heart in half in a way that makes me feel like I’m 95 years old.”

Aw, cheer up, Lena. It won’t be long before you’re yelling at those kids to get off your damned lawn already.

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