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An Open Letter to Yard Sale Enthusiasts Everywhere

Dear Yard Sale Enthusiasts,

I understand. I do! I know how cool it is to buy something you never knew you needed for next to nothing. The pride you feel at your new acquisition (and the money you saved!) is a rush. Just remember, there are other people on the road when you decide to stop suddenly and hop out of your car, into traffic!

It’s a race. I get that. If you don’t get to those limited edition Beavis and Butthead salt and pepper shakers that will go perfectly with your Scooby Doo sugar and creamer set, someone else will snatch them up!

But please, do your fellow motorists a favor, and signal before you slam on the brakes! If you are partially by the yard sale when you spot it, take the time to signal, and make sure the driver behind you notices it, before you pull off the road. Don’t just arbitrarily slam on your brakes and yank the wheel. You never know, the person behind you may be eyeing the same yard sale and not SEE your sudden brake lights!

And that’s another thing; when you pull off the road, pull OFF the road. OUT of the lane. Park on the SIDE of the road. NOT halfway into the lane! When you get cars on both sides of the road parked halfway into the lane, a two-lane road suddenly becomes a one-lane road, and that’s just not going to end well. And, if you’re on a motorcycle, like the idiot, er…guy I saw yesterday, pull to the side of the road. Don’t pull slightly-over-but-still-in-the-lane, put your feet down, and stop! I really don’t WANT to run over your toes, but you may leave me no choice.

Finally, remember what you learned in kindergarten. What your Mom taught you the first time she walked you to the bus stop or to school. Always look both ways before crossing the street! Don’t hop out of your car and dart across the road, with those matching velvet Elvis prints beckoning for you to snatch them up. Chances are pretty good that they’ll still be there if you take the time to look before you cross the street. And if they’re not, I’ll bet you can find something else to take up that space in your family room. Like maybe a print of ‘Dogs Playing Poker!’

Respectfully,

Your fellow motorist

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