Yes, Getting Violent Food Poisoning With Your Boyfriend in Paris Is Exactly as Romantic as it Sounds: The Amy Schumer story.

Schumer, who Insta-documented a bout of international food poisoning with boyfriend Ben Hanisch in September, expands on the harrowing tale in a preview of today's (December 12) Ellen Degeneres Show episode. And in case the experience didn't already seem horrifying enough in broad strokes, Schumer describes her out-of-both-ends expulsions more specifically:

"I was like the fountain on Friends."


Schumer says she and Hanisch were enjoying the City of Lights when they both started to feel queasy in their hotel room, which she notes was especially prone to echoing. He kicked off the puke-Olympics with some severe vomiting, and she quickly joined in with...other contributions.

"The way it manifested itself in me is basically I was just in there like—" Schumer begins before leaning over and miming torpedo sounds.

Nice again!

"Like, machine gun," she adds, and says she felt sure in the moment that the relationship was over. "That is [also] when I learned to never throw up in a wicker basket. Happy, holidays, guys!"

Schumer reports she and Hanisch are still together, but no word yet on future travel plans.

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